The magical lamp

By Elizabeth Ann Sese


Elizabeth gives three tips to encourage children to reach for their dreams.

Do you remember your earliest memory as a child? When I was young, I recall certain moments that, to this day, felt more like a dream than a memory. It was a cold, foggy night and I remember walking up with my aunt to a hotel room with this bright, shiny lamp on the bedside table, that I just couldn’t stop staring at. In retrospect, I realized it felt like I was staring at my future, but as much as I wanted it to be, it did not get glittery perfect that quick or easy, at all. It took me several academic scholarships simultaneously (until everything was almost practically free), when I got closer to my goal. Had I given up in at any point in time, I would probably not be as happy or contented and would be left wondering for the rest of my life with so many what-ifs. What kept me from quitting? Here are some life lessons that I wanted to share:

Start small.

Your dream about being a successful singer or balladeer could very well start from using your tiny spoon as a microphone or your ruffled skirt as a costume. Once you cultivate that mindset that you really don’t have to go big the first time, every step following that would not be as heavy or overwhelming. It becomes more manageable in the long run. What you’re after at this stage in your life is the belief that nothing is so big that it is impossible to achieve it, because anything IS possible. You can do whatever you want (the right way, of course), to be who you want to become.

Your success is up to you and no one else.

They say that if you are born poor, it isn’t your fault; but if you die poor, it is your fault. We may not always begin under the right circumstances, but it is up to us to carve ourselves out of it before self-pity or self-entitlement consumes us. This sounds easier said than done, but every successful person has started with some level of discomfort, else they would never learn how to get out of their self-limiting bubble. Your core would show you what you really are and what you would like to become, and it is up to you to work your way up and out of whatever is holding you back: It could be your nightly routine of watching movies or playing games that you no longer have time for introspection, or that you always try to put off exercising because of excuses at work, or yet another delaying tactic that derails your happiness, and in the long run, success. Put your mind into it, own it, and run the show like your life depends on it, because that is the only way you can truly be contented for a very long time.

Ask questions, do not be afraid to get help.

I almost stopped believing that I would be able to make it. When I was a kid, I grew up not wanting to be a doctor, lawyer, or anything commonly famous or significant. I just couldn’t see a way out of my situation that I forgot to ask for help from people who care enough to pull me up. It started manifesting itself in the ugliest way, when I noticed I was self- sabotaging my relationships. My friends and family couldn’t understand what I was going through because I never told them, fearing they would never accept me or care to hear my side. When I couldn’t bear it by myself anymore, I surrendered. I went home unannounced, and my family made me feel like the son (of the good Samaritan) who came back from the dark days. I was welcomed whole-heartedly and I couldn’t be happier. I felt so loved that all my fears and heartaches gradually started tearing away, and one day when I looked back there was no pain anymore. That’s when I started believing that someone’s halfway isn’t always your halfway.

Sometimes, without you knowing it, they have already gone in 99% and all you need to give is 1%, that tiny little step, on the way back where you can heal and thrive again. This is where your doubts and fears get rested, that everything seems so insignificant you just want to savor the moment. It is not going to be possible without taking that leap, no matter how small.

A lot of things are still a work in progress, but I am optimistic that I am treading the right path in my own pace, and while it feels like a dream, like the shiny, magical lamp, it is as real as my memory will remember and treasure.



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